Insert Title Here: A Title-First Fic Event

I keep thinking I can't post until I finish my writeup of the convention that we put on in October, but things persist on happening.

Like yesterday, when I went in for a crown and left with a surprise appointment for a root canal ("woot canaw") two hours later. I'm staying ahead of the pain with Tylenol, but clearly did not do the fun Christmas things on my day off yesterday as planned, ha.

This is accidentally a month of medical appointments; I'm seeing literally every doctor I have. And that expands! Like my annual physical turned into getting a sleep study and working with a dietician/nutritionist. And the crown leading to a new specialist!

The last appointment is with my rheumy, and I'm talking about changing meds. The psoriasis flare refuses to go away, two new patches have emerged, and the derm agrees that we've thrown everything possible at them. Plus I've been really fatigued, foggy, and low since the convention, and wasn't much better before it. I think I've walked to work fewer than ten times this year, when typically it's 2-3 times a week. I don't love that. There's also increasing breakthrough pain. It's leagues ahead of what it's been like on past medications or on nothing, but it's absolutely negatively impacting my life.

The convention really did go well, and while there were hiccups, 99% of people loved it, and we got multiple standing ovations.

Unfortunately in that 1% is the director of the partner non-profit, on which board I sit, who is? a very very dear friend of mine. I mean, she congratulated us on a successful convention. After accusing us of taking money that rightfully belonged to the non-profit, and trying to bill us $3k after the fact for setting up tours and using the non-profit spaces for a convention event--after saying, "Of course we won't charge you for the spaces, why would we??"--and thereby ending her decade+ long friendship with another of the planners, amongst other consequences.

My therapist is super proud of how I handled it, stood up for myself and the planners, and am navigating the fall out. Because she has been a very, very close friend. I have realized that it stems from different views of the convention--friend saw it only as a way to make the np money, while we and the attendees saw it as a labor of love for community building. So when we used the last $1k to reimburse our travel and hotel rooms for October (not getting paid for two years of work! Just straight reimbursement!) instead of donating it to the np (with the $500 we'd earmarked to donate and the $4k for seed money for the next convention), she flipped out very harshly.

She did apologize to me, and showed regret, which is more responsibility than I've ever seen her take. (Two of the other planners got half apologies and the last one got unfriended on socials.) We've agreed that we need to take time to talk about what happened, but we're both having medical adventures this month so that is delayed. And in the meantime, I'm still stiff and uncomfortable and not able to trust her very much. So meetings have been really great, especially the financial team meeting that happened days after the big showdown.

But yeah. Life has been A Lot lately. I'm also planning to up my adhd meds because I'm really sure they are not working at the same therapeutic level. Transitions like leaving for work and getting ready for bed are incredibly hard, and I've found myself late to work and late to bed, which are absolutely connected. And being tired makes me foggier and sadder and my executive functioning dip lower and it's a wretched circle.

One very big bright spot has been DnD, though. I get myself out every single week on time, and I'm loving it so so so much. I thought I was going to like combat best, since it's structured, but honestly, I love the roleplaying. This group is just fantastic and welcoming and FUN. I take notes every week, and I really want to type them up and share our stories.

I was really hoping that DnD would help boost my creativity--that I could improv it like I do the roleplays, but that hasn't really happened. But also I haven't had the mental or physical energy as much, either. I have written 13 stories this year, and I'd like to get to 15 at least. Yuletide is due this week, and I have 100 words down and a plot, plus a two hour writing group tomorrow. I also have two Christmas related 9-1-1 fic ideas, so we'll see if either or both of those can happen.

I've been enjoying Hallmark movies this year, there's been some fun ones, but not a lot more is happening. I found LED string lights that perfectly mimic incandescent lights, so I am loving those. I've only managed 1 or 2 Christmas romances so far this year, and in fact will not hit 100 books read this year. I don't think that's ever happened. I have cards to write, and a few presents that need to be mailed out rather than ordered, and somehow need to find the motivation and energy.

I also need to get work done, but I'm flagging hard. Still ahead of the pain, but I could use a nap. I'd walk for tea or coffee, but it's 11* with a -3 windchill, so that isn't an option, ha.

All right. Two hours. Let's go.